IreneDesign2011

Emotional Intelligence – This post is a part of SoCS

Cherry trees from my new garden. We are in the middle of the movement now.

Emotional Intelligence is very much in need in our world today

We need to remember, that we are only responsible for what we are saying to other people, but not for what other people are hearing, that is their responsibility. We need to learn to talk clearly, so we make it easy for other people to understand, what we are trying to tell them.

 There are many ways to communicate with other people. It is so very easy to misunderstand, what our partner, kids, family or co-workers are trying to tell us, if we are not awake to listen very good, often also behind the words. When we communicate with other people, we need to remember, that all of us come with a background from childhood, culture & family, as all had affected our way to mind in our life today.

Not all have been blessed to have a loving and caring family, who did give hugs and kisses for free.

Many did need to fight hard just to receive credit for what they did and not for just being themselves. It is important to learn from childhood, that you are good enough, even you did not do anything special. How many adults are fighting just to learn, that they are good enough, just as they are?  Without they do anything else than just being themselves?

All these about, we need to learn to love ourselves, before we are able to love another soul, is not very easy to learn, if we did not learn this from our childhood. It can be a very tough fight to come so far in our personal development, if we ever will at all.

Emotional Intelligence is most easy to learn, when you come from a childhood with a lot of love, where you were good enough, just because you were existing. Your company was appreciated, you were needed in the family and missed, when you forgot the time and did come home too late. Where your family was used to give hugs and kisses to say Hi and See you. In my family we did not use Goodbye, because I hoped, that it never would be necessary to say Goodbye to my kids – so we used See you, when we did need to apart for school, work etc.

First we need to be able to identify our own feelings and look behind and see, what we need f.x. attention from our partner, to create a close relationship by doing something together like just a mutual walk can do, it doesn’t need to be expensive excursions, less can do it.

Then we need to be able to identify our partners feelings and accept, that they maybe have another way to look at life than we have, but they are still good enough and not bad people, just because they are not acting or minding like we do.

Mutual respect is the code word for all relationships, without the respect, there are not so much to build at.

We are all different and have each our personal luggage with us, maybe our tools are different, but if we wish to, it is possible to learn to identify both our own and our partners feelings and then learn to act at those feelings in a positive way. We are allowed to open our mouth and talk together, try to find good ways for making our relationships more strong. To respect the others feelings is necessary. All feelings are allowed, we don’t need to act at all feelings, just accept that we have them. And also accept that our partner have their feelings, which are just so allowed as our own.

The way we are talking to each other show how healthy the relationship is. If you are able to talk silent and polite without screaming, even if you are really mad. Without to become hysterical, when you don’t get everything, as you would like to.

I’m sure you have also met leaders, who are cold and cynical. Try to tell them, that your kid is sick, so you have to go home now from your job. Then you will have the risk that you will need to look for another job very soon.

There are leaders, who have learned Emotional Intelligence. When you tell them, you need to go home caused the sick kid, they will ask you, what is wrong with your kid, what kind of sickness, then send you home very fast. Maybe also call you later same day or next just to hear, how it is going in your life now.

We can all act like small kids in kindergarten, who want the others toy or just their will, but we need to grow up mentally and act mature, when we leave our childhood and teenage periods.

Do you use Emotional Intelligence?

I hope you did enjoy your visit here. I will continue this topic in next weekend.

Irene

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This week, the prompt is ‘do’ or ‘don’t.’ Write about any subject at all, but make it about something you feel strongly about doing or avoiding; whether it’s yourself or others, it doesn’t matter.

“This post is part of SoCS: http://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-514/

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